Who Do You Think You Are?
Star Wars and Your Crisis of Identity
Today! Right now, at this very moment….we are being bombarded by outside forces telling us who we should be. It comes from our bosses, our families, and influencers on social media alike. They mean well, most of them.
But you have to pause and consider this question.
Who do you think you are?
If we listen to the liars and deceivers of the culture, the grifters and the salesmen, nothing is to be found but the pain of loneliness, confusion, isolation, and regret.
A bit harsh? Let me explain. Modern culture right now is telling you who to be. It’s telling you to be a consumer. Every social media app is designed to get you addicted to your phone. Every minute of news coverage demands your outrage and anxiety. This will trap you in a constant state of mindless consumerism and self-focus.
The bad news about this cultural moment is that the institutions have failed us. But the good news is the storytellers have not….more on that later.
So let’s talk about institutional failure. There was a great lie sold to the millennial generation, my generation. We were told to simply get good grades, go to college, buy a three-bedroom house, and then we would be living the American dream of yesteryear. We would be happy.
It was a lie.
We saw the Twin Towers fall. We remember the Iraq Invasion, we remember the 2008 crash, the social distancing, and the isolation of a mismanaged pandemic. It’s easy to become bitter and resentful in the face of these things beyond our control.
I have to confess I still struggle with this.
For me, this feeling of betrayal manifested most intensely on my wedding day.
In 2018, I met a girl and fell hopelessly in love. We knew very quickly we wanted to get married. At the same time, she and I knew that it would be great to have more time to date. I was on active duty at the time and was feeling pretty lucky when I got my next assignment in South Carolina, where she was living at the time. Things were lining up perfectly!
We could be together, but take the necessary time in our relationship to prepare for getting married. About a year later, I popped the question and a date was set.
March 28th, 2020…. (uh oh)
Covid. Lockdowns. No honeymoon. No venue. No guests allowed.
It was so easy to get caught up in what was happening to me, to get caught up in the things that I couldn't control. It was tempting to just postpone the wedding and wait it out, but this wasn't who we were as a couple. We were ready.
Remember, the question is: who do you think you are? Because at this moment, we had to face this question of identity as a unit and be true to our values.
This question made the decision easier for us both. What was important to us was being together and being committed to each other no matter what. We could have just moved in together with no ceremony, no vows, or formal commitment but that wasn’t us. It wasn't true to who we were. Our time was March 28th, 2020 and that's the day we got married. With just our parents and a few family members as witnesses, we got hitched (At an AirBNB) and never looked back. It may not have been the dream ceremony and reception, but we had each other. Everything was okay.
I’m lucky because I had this question of identity modeled for me by a childhood hero of mine, you might have heard of him…..Luke Skywalker. He’s kind of a big deal.
I’ll never forget watching Return of the Jedi for the first time and there’s this moment toward the end when Luke has to answer this very same question. Luke is confronting Darth Vader and the Emperor himself. He’s standing at the precipice of darkness, fighting for his life, crossing swords with the monster who used to be his father. Luke has reached out time and time again, begging for the salvation of Anakin Skywalker on the other side of the black mask, but it’s no use. Vader pushes Luke to the breaking point.
This is what villains do. They think, as Batman says to the Joker in The Dark Knight, “the rest of the world is as ugly as you are.” So villains try to corrupt good people and break them. The Joker says it earlier in the movie, “When the chips are down, these civilized people will eat each other.”
But who we are at our lowest moments is not who we are. The Joker is wrong. And so is Darth Vader.
After Vader threatens Leia, Luke loses it. He loses self-control, breaks his focus, and for a brief moment…Luke loses himself completely. He loses sight of who he is. This is the moment when Luke sees what he’s about to do, execute his father, but he snaps out of it.
Luke Skywalker makes a defining choice. Who do you think you are?
"I am a Jedi, like my father before me."
This is not just a statement of fact. It is an affirmation of identity and a realization of legacy. It is a testament to the power of hope in overcoming fear. Luke chooses to see himself not as the son of the Dark Lord of the Sith, but as the son of Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, a hero. Luke tosses fear and anger aside.
His weapon? He will not need it.
Luke's decision to let go of his lightsaber and embrace loving self-sacrifice over vengefulness is a decision rooted in who he chooses to be. It’s aspirational. With incredible charity, Luke manages to see the best in his father, and in doing so, he sees the best in himself.
Who do you think you are?
That’s it for Geeky Stoics this week. We hope you had a great one. ICYMI here are the most recent videos and articles from Stephen and Riley.
Go out into the day and live better, mythically.
