“Pure spite,” said the teenager I had just confronted about his ugly behavior. I was on day 5 of a 7-day adventure with the Boy Scouts, accompanying a Troop from the nearby town of Gainesville along the New River of West Virginia. One Scout was being particularly awful on this trip. He spewed foul language like a busted pipe, influencing the Scouts around him in ways he didn’t see, to act similarly. It was disappointing, because this Scout was of a quite high rank, Life Scout, actually. This means he is about to be an Eagle Scout, a rank of prestige and even still today, cultural merit.
“Why are you acting like this?” I asked. That’s when the Scout informed me of his “pure spite” for authority and his refusal to clean up his language around other Scouts.
Later that day, I spoke with an adult leader from another Troop about the young man. He had experienced the same behavior, and even worse stuff than I’d seen. So we talked a bit and decided we had a duty as Eagle Scouts to share what we’d seen with the young man’s Scout leaders. This was done in the form of a formal letter, recommending to the Troop’s leadership that the young man face this account of his conduct during his next Board of Review. It was our aim also that the young man be denied the chance to advance to Eagle Scout, at least on his first attempt. A setback would give him time to grow and an opportunity to actually lead younger Scouts with integrity, which so far he’d failed to do.
As Eagles ourselves, one can’t be protective enough of the Eagle Scout name. Boy Scouts has enough problems without the title of Eagle Scout being rendered meaningless by unworthy Scouts being fast-tracked to the peak of the program.
In that letter to the Scout Council outlining the young man’s behavior and lack of readiness to advance, we said,
“<Name> may not have thought of this trip as a test of his readiness to advance, but he certainly failed it.”
Each day we’re in the company of other human beings — we are being tested, either against our own stated virtues or someone else’s. Are you living like this is a test?
I failed one recently, myself. Just the other day, I was headed home from a work conference in Memphis, Tennessee. I had a 6 AM flight, so at 4:30 AM I was in the lobby of my hotel trying to summon an Uber to pick me up. Uber was not delivering me a driver. It would seem no Uber drivers woke up to do rides that day. Outside the hotel sat a taxi, the driver sleeping inside. I knocked frantically and asked if he was available for a ride to the airport.
“Sorry, I’m here for a Robert,” he said to me. Then right on cue, Robert was behind me. I asked if he was headed to the airport. He was. And he graciously welcomed me into the taxi to come along.
On the ride, I turned inward instead of being personable. It was 4:30 AM, I was very tired and groggy, and I also assumed my shared company on the ride might be tired as well. So I didn’t make an effort to have a conversation or make small talk.
But he spoke to me and asked about what I do.
This was the moment, the test. You see, at this event I had attended there were a lot of professionals who work in my industry (Media & PR), but there were far more grassroots activists and everyday people there to learn about politics. When I say to an activist that I work in TV & radio booking they almost always want to know how they can get on TV using my contacts. Being tired, and also not knowing who I was speaking with, I was as withholding as possible. Not rude, just not open.
Normally a very enthusiastic guy, very eager to share and collaborate with others, I opted instead to be low-key in this interaction. After we arrived at the airport we exchanged contact information, and I went on my way.
Later I received an email from Robert, and I checked out his background online. Turns out, I was sitting with a successful CEO and entrepreneur. Someone I might actually want to be in touch with.
The tests will not be announced.
I’d have acted differently upon getting into the car if I’d known more about the man. But that’s the point, and that’s the failure. It’s not that I acted badly, but I wasn’t my best self, my warm self, my eager self. Not myself.
On top of that, based on when I made it to my plane gate, if Robert hadn’t shared that taxi….I’d have missed my flight home.
Always consider what we owe others. Sometimes those things are material, sometimes it is our time, and sometimes it is just a smile and a proper explanation of what we do. You put your best foot forward.
After all, with the Scout Oath in mind…"On my honor, I will do my best….”
Indeed, be your best self.
And don't trust Uber at 0430.