Today’s reading of The Screwtape Letters focuses on Chapter 3, a letter about personal/family relations and the importance of managing your impressions regarding facial expressions, tone of voice and other mannerisms. Things can break down rapidly when a relationship drifts toward enmity and assumed bad faith, and Lewis’s warning here is to reflect on how you let yourself off the hook for grating mannerisms—while scrutinizing those of everyone else.
When two humans have lived together for many years it usually happens that each has tones of voice and expressions of face which are almost unendurably irritating to the other. Work on that. Bring fully into the consciousness of your patient that particular lift of his mother's eyebrows which he learned to dislike in the nursery, and let him think how much he dislikes it. Let him assume that she knows how annoying it is and does it to annoy — if you know your job he will not notice the immense improbability of the assumption. And, of course, never let him suspect that he has tones and looks which similarly annoy her. As he cannot see or hear himself, this is easily managed.
It’s a distinctly Stoic letter, almost like Lewis drew directly from Epictetus. It is not the only time Screwtape Letters offers blocks of wisdom that parallel the Stoics.
In this video, I also draw on a book called Jesus & Stoicism by Brittany Polat, which compares Bible verses with lines from the Stoic philosophers, to show where these “virtuous pagans” were on the right track when it came to ethics that Christianity made mainstream in the West.
I highly recommend it for your bookshelf. You can buy it at the link above.
