I don't give a damn 'bout my reputation

What is "reputation" worth in a world adrift and boundless?

My name is Stephen Kent, and I care a lot about what people think of me. More than most, I’m afraid. This is something I have admitted to myself, prayed over, meditated on, and tried to minimize where I can. I’m not sure where it came from. My Mom always said that I didn’t ever need but one spanking in my career as a child. The self-loathing and shame I heaped on myself, she always felt was sufficient. Except for that one time, I exploded up a TV with magnets. Oops.

In adulthood, I’ve spent a great deal of time doing TV, speaking publicly, and being a pretty public person. In this world, you’ll come across different types of people. Those who don’t give a damn and speak their truth, and those who are hyper-aware of the setting, the mood in the room and modulate as such. Neither one has a monopoly on virtue or courage. As a reader of This Is The Way said to me recently, sometimes “Discretion is the better part of valor.” So being loud, proud, a straight shooter, or open-book may not always be brave, if that is the thing you find most easy and expedient to do.

For me, courage looks more like letting go. Loosening my hold on the reins of “reputation”. What about you?

Here’s another question. Is your reputation something that you can control? I have said for years that “yes, of course, it is.” I was raised in the Boy Scouts and when we say “The Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent” we’re making a statement as to how we’ll behave as Scouts. We choose to act in these ways, and not in other ways. Therefore, if we’re choosing these behaviors, we’re cultivating a reputation.

Makes sense. But what if you’re in a club, and you personally live by the virtues of being “cheerful, thrifty and reverent” but the club has no virtues at all? What if what they value is only growing membership, raising money, and group cohesion?

If your values don’t mesh with the society or group you’re part of, will you have control over your reputation? No. You will not. People will talk, whispers will be whispered and your brand, reputation, and standing…will be subject to the whims of the people around. A reflection of what they value. If you live by the code of Honesty (Never Tell A Lie), you may quickly find you have a reputation for cruelty. If society values sensitivity over honesty, your commitment to speaking truth will make you the town troublemaker.

Something else to consider….