Difficult People Are Essential
As modeled by Edmund from The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe
“I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own.”
— Marcus Aurelius
Hello friends. My apologies for the sparse communication as of late. My effort running for City Council in Manassas, VA has picked up steam and required a few compromises in how I spend my mornings. Usually, those sweet hours before sunrise are time carved out exclusively for Geeky Stoics.
I want to share something on my mind related to the campaign. People can be really mean. I know, it’s not exactly breaking news. But it’s one of those things you think you know until you’re running for office and you find yourself in the crosshairs of well-established politicians and their most loyal (rabid?) followers. I’m kind of stunned by it. But I suppose that’s why my Dad always said “Politics ain't beanbag,” an adage passed over a hundred years from writer and satirist, Finley Peter Dunne.
Ever Met An “Edmund”?
I’ll lead with the geeky part. While I was chaperoning my daughter’s Scout Troop at summer camp in July, I took The Lion, The Witch & The Wardrobe with me to revisit the classic C.S. Lewis tale with adult eyes. It was fun. I fully appreciate now why I loved this story so much growing up. I also can appreciate with even more clarity why I loathed the character of Edmund so much. He’s the younger brother and family traitor who sells out his siblings to the White Witch, setting into motion a series of events that results in the death of Aslan, “King of Beasts”.
Most readers of this book (or fans of the movies) will dislike Edmund. Perhaps there is a legion of younger brothers out there who see themselves in Edmund and hate Peter instead. That seems likely, now that I think about it.
He is awful though. Edmund bullies his younger sister (Lucy) for her belief in Narnia, learns of it himself, and then lies again to make Lucy look foolish. All the while he is conspiring with the White Witch to bring her his siblings and be anointed “king” of Narnia. The Turkish Delight candies the Witch feeds him do legitimately skew his judgment, something the book goes to great lengths to make clear. Edmund is a rotten boy but he is a victim of deceit and malicious spiritual intoxication.
“When faced with people’s bad behavior, turn around and ask when you have acted like that. When you saw money as a good, or pleasure, or social position — Your anger will subside as soon as you recognize that they acted under compulsion. What else could they do?”
- Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
Still, Edmund is despicable. He is rude to the Beavers who offer his family shelter. He speaks ignorantly of Mr. Tumnus the Faun. Edmund also shrinks in disgust and fear when he first learns of Aslan. He’s the kind of person who distrusts the idea of Santa Claus and complains about 80-degree days with clear skies.
After Edmund learns the true character of the White Witch and experiences her evil first-hand, he is rescued from captivity by Aslan’s army. Then the Witch comes forward to Aslan and lays claim to Edmund’s life. Apparently, in Narnia’s ancient law, traitors’ lives are forfeit to the White Witch. Aslan concedes that this is true, so he makes a deal with the Witch to die (horrifically) in Edmund’s place.
The awfulness of Edmund just grows and grows.
But here’s what I realized in my revisitation of The Chronicles of Narnia….
Without Edmund, there is no victory to be had in this story.
Aslan knows the deeper laws of Narnia, and what we learn is that he is willing to die for Edmund in part because his sacrifice will not be in vain. Having been innocent and slaughtered in the place of someone guilty, Aslan returns from the dead. He’s also empowered to free the White Witch’s captives from her castle. Within her walls, the Witch has turned hundreds of creatures into stone. Aslan can now redeem them too.
He now has an army large enough to challenge the White Witch and defeat her in battle. Without the weakness of Edmund, this cannot happen.
The Freedom To Be Awful Is What Makes Good…Good
Difficult people are a fact of life, but what Narnia asks us to consider in the character of Edmund is that they are essential. Without them, your good choices are meaningless. You’ve probably heard or asked before, “If God is so loving, why do suffering, tragedy, and pain exist?”
The answer is a mystery, but the best theories I’ve heard on it have to do with providing context for goodness. A moral action isn’t moral if you had no capacity to choose evil instead. There is no great day in your whole life if you lack awful and decent days by which to compare.
“Edmunds” are your opportunity to practice forgiveness. To show love. To give when the recipient is undeserving.
Yeah, Politics Is Not Beanbag
There are some truly unhinged and angry people in every community, and politics attracts them like moths to light. I’ve encountered a few of those individuals recently and been called some nasty things, never to my face of course. I’ve been suddenly refused friendship or even a handshake by people who I’ve known for years. One of the other candidates who I’ve been friendly with for quite a while, pretended the other day when I said hello that we’d never met. With a weird smile and angry eyes, they performed for a good sixty seconds like they didn’t know me.
It’s just strange the way people can behave when they feel threatened or under attack.
But these are the moments when you have a choice. Will you be vengeful and keep score, or forgive and earnestly move on?
There’s this moment in an interview with Craig Melvin (NBC) on
where Melvin is reflecting on his father’s failures and the boundless love of God and he says “how dare I not forgive”. I watched that video months ago, but I think about that one-liner often.I know for a fact that I’ve been an Edmund.
Our Proper Occupation
Up to this point, you’ve read a few Marcus Aurelius quotes from Meditations. You could underline a hundred passages in that book from Rome’s 16th emperor about empathy and seeing yourself in the failings of other people. But the most famous passage from Meditations is often attributed to inanimate objects. "The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Popularly known as “the obstacle is the way”.
Athletes, business leaders, soldiers, you name it…draw on this idea to overcome challenges. The problem that is obstructing you could be an opportunity…
What I love about the full passage in context is that it’s about people. Aurelius is reflecting on difficult people and what use can be made of them.
I’ll leave you with that.
Edmund, I apologize for a lifelong devotion to loathing you. You were made in the image of God and share a nature similar to my own, which is a capacity for foolishness and sin. Your sin, however, is the only reason redemption exists. And redemption is the light of the universe.
“In a sense, people are our proper occupation. Our job is to do them good and put up with them. But when they obstruct our proper tasks, they become irrelevant to us—like sun, wind, animals. Our actions may be impeded by them, but there can be no impeding our intentions or our dispositions. Because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”
Difficult (but not abusive) people do ultimately teach you and build your character. It's a great deal of emotional effort to deal with them in the moment, or to recognise this strength-building until long afterward. The schoolfriends who took advantage of my good nature; the line manager who was a legitimate bully; the flatmates who constantly had falling-outs and tried to recruit me to their 'side'; and like you Stephen, I've been involved in political campaigns and the behaviour and online cruelty of opponents and randoms can know no bounds. Each of these was an experience I've now accepted and grown from, and I hope same for everyone reading.
As the younger brother in my family. This one hit home.